Fall of the Midnight Rain
By V.G.S./E.G.S./R.G.S. or Whatever you know me as.
How long have I laid here,
Fading into oblivion in the darkness,
Sheltered only by the thoughts around me?
How long have I been surrounded,
Within the walls of this shaded confine,
And withered,
Without the care of someone?
How long has it been,
Since I have seen the light above,
And why do I not miss it?
Why has this all happened?
I ask this question of a fool,
And yet the answer rings clearly within my mind,
For I have lain here for one reason,
Since that reason,
And to that reason,
The Fall of the Midnight Rain.
Yes the fall,
It hath cursed my already sheltered soul,
And buried me deep within chained binds,
It hath strangled me,
So I cannot get out no matter my struggles,
It hath burned my skin,
So light may never comfort my existence,
No; not again,
And yet I want it; clearly so,
Yes; I want this rain to fall again,
Fall to ease this suffering I am experiencing,
And bury me deeper,
I have known that I cannot get out now,
So god tell me,
Why can't I go deeper instead?
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Why thank you!
Wow! :clap:
Very good! It blew me away! I was on my toes!
I really felt that...Good work!
Well, it supposed to be a poem about ghosts. ^^ And if it rains at Midnight in Russia, it's a myth thats when all the spirits go and wander.
A few punctuation errors that you should be able to find in a short runthrough. I'm also not quite sure how midnight rain is related to this kind of depressing (no offence!) poem. Otherwise, it isn't bad. I see what it hath done, but why? And why rain?
-Evang.
Thank you.
A good work. I like the theme of release and the way you presented it.
Thank you for your critations. ^^ It'll help me improve future writeings.
This was really good. The only two lines I didn't like were, "Since that reason and to that reason." I didn't think those two lines fit in well with your prose, but other than that I thought it was excellent.